Divine strength and mercy

This hasn't been a rough week or anything, just an insanely busy one. I think I'm still trying to find that balance between studying, having a social life, being a friend to those here or those abroad or back home, a sister, a daughter, and juggling all my responsibilities from volunteer work to being a board member in student associations. Falling sick and sleeping 15 hours a day didn't help. And on top of all of that, I WANT TO TRAVEL.

I can't be stuck in a place for too long a period, and yes two months is too long, I have TO GET OUT AND EXPLORE :) It's just me and part of me wants to enjoy my freedom. Escape. Live. So I'm off to my beloved San Francisco this weekend, and maybe even a day trip to Napa. We'll see. Go with the flow.

I miss my summer so much. I LOVED my job. It was my passion. I worked 12 hr days but enjoyed every bit of it. And....of course there were perks (weekends off to travel): 

This is what I used to do at the end of a long work day

This is what I did on the weekends (on my own dime) - fly

Stay in hotels

Biking the golden gate bridge in SF

Flying to Washington DC to visit a friend for the weekend

Taking a ferry to Catalina Island for my birthday weekend

Catalina Island

Doesn't it look like heaven?

Visit friends in SoCal, Work in LA during Dine LA week, and get free tickets to the Long Beach Aquarium (thanks Westin!)

Fly like a boss - Virgin Airlines is my fav domestic carrier

Stay at places like this

Visit Harry Potter Land and drink Butterbeer

Party in Disneyworld, Orlando, FL.

Anyway so this has been a stressful busy week with tons of demands on my time and will be for the next 5 days until I leave, and as I was thinking about how stressful my week is going to be while trying to be positive and give thanks for the things I had, a verse came to mind:

Isaiah 40:31

New International Version (NIV)

³¹ but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

 He knows my heart, and he comforts me. Give me divine strength to get past this week. You know how much I need sleep (I am not kidding, plus i get sleepy alot from my thyroid condition). I need it. #positivity So glad for the gospel in my life. I'm not religious, but I am glad I have a eternal and omnipresent source of comfort and that He is my guide.

Things to conquer this week (and by this i mean Wednesday)? 
- Chinese vocab + summary 7.3
- Warranty accrual + team meeting agenda
- Marketing exam
- Operations exam
- Tuesday/thursday hw
- Consulting project

Stress max? Go me.
I LOVE MY LIFE. The fun parts, the stressful parts, the painful moments, the carefree days, the joys and the sorrows. It's part of my journey. It's not perfect, but it sure is part of my woven identity :)
I love my life. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's imperfectly perfect.

I was just thinking about my family and how much I miss them. They never judge me, love me for me, even with all my faults (I need to watch my budget!), was getting a little teary-eyed...and suddenly it struck me. How much our heavenly father must love us. If my family loves me so much, what more him who loves us beyond our comprehension?

Someone loves me that much. More than my family?! Get out of here!

I must be the luckiest girl in the world.

Beauty... and the inner beast

I speak to my girlfriends, who to me are beautiful inside and out. They each have their own signature brand of beauty but yet are so quick to judge and bash themselves by the world's standard. They compare themselves to Photoshopped women in picture perfect magazines and unrealistically thin women on the runways. They are quick to dodge compliments, and absorb insults before analyzing if they are true.

It is so easy to let things get to you. To compare yourself to others.

Don't. It's so toxic.

They see themselves though a different lens than how I view them. Sometimes I wonder how they look in the mirror and see something different than what I do. They are so beautiful to me. Above all, it's their individual personalities and passions which makes them, them. They are all so different but so amazing in their own ways. You know?

Imagine how boring it would be if we all had cookie-cutter perfect friends (think Stepford wives...creepy!)


But I guess I can relate because I'm a woman and I'm guilty of this myself. How often do we hear....?

"I'm not skinny enough"
"No, I'm not pretty, I'm having a bad hair day"
"I'm in my fat jeans today because my skinny ones don't fit"
"If only I could be more like xx and xx, then yy would like me"
"Look at her! I wish I had those _______ (insert body part)"

How often have you given a girl a compliment when she just declines it, turns around and insults herself in modesty instead?

You: "You have such pretty skin!"
Her: "No la, I actually have a really big pimple here. See? So gross right." 
 -.-"

I do this a lot myself and I'm trying to just graciously accept it with a simple "Thank you". Still a work in progress. Slowly but surely.

Obviously the media doesn't help. But, girlfriends, you ARE beautiful. You are such good examples to me in your own little ways. Thanks for always my constants and listening to me ramble :) I miss all of you so very much. *virtual hug*

Yes, you.

If I told you about this blog, you should know you are a close confidante and an amazing friend of mine :)

***
Genesis 1:27; 1:31 - we are created in His image.

 27 So God created man in his own ^aimage, in the image of God created he him; male and ^bfemale created he them. 

...

 31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very ^agood. And the evening and the morning were the ^bsixth day.
***

There is such joy and strength from the security and confidence which stems from the beauty of knowing that you are a daughter of the Almighty. I mean..."And He saw that it (his creation, aka us) was good". Whose opinion matters more than His?! I know from personal experience it's often hard to keep that in mind though.

Some days I catch myself sighing and thinking to myself "I wish I was more...". Why do we let others' approval or disapproval get to us? Don't shortchange yourself by comparing yourself by a lesser yardstick. We owe ourselves a break. Celebrate our differences. Learn to embrace and be comfortable in our own skin. Easier said than done eh?

Personally, I'm working on it myself. It's not easy. Trying to seek approval in Him and seek comfort in the gospel than in others. To store treasures in heaven instead of here on earth. It's hard. I admit, I'm vain and materialistic looking good is important to me, thus I get easily swayed and carried away by the world. Baby steps hon, baby steps. We'll get there together.

How true. Happy people have this glow and quiet confidence which makes them so beautiful.

Here's a quote I love, which is often attributed to one of my favorite fashion icons, Audrey Hepburn:

"For attractive lips,
speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes,
seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure,
share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair,
let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise,
walk with the knowledge you never walk alone."
"Beauty Secrets," by Sam Levenson

You are beautiful. and I love you.
If my visuals and little prep talk wasn't enough, let this convince you.
"We are infinite" - Perks of a Wallflower

Sleepless in South Provo

Warning: Sleep inducing post. Read at your own peril.

My sleeping is very messed up. Took some Zzzquil, lets see if it works. I just realized, 10 minutes after consuming my "shot" that there's 10% of alcohol in it. That's more than my favorite Moscato / Riesling wines I used to consume before I was a member!

That made me think of something.

Today in church we discussed the word of wisdom in RS. It's something near and dear to my heart. It was the biggest cause of frustration for me as an investigator, and to be completely honest, it still is hard sometimes. As such I try to abstain from speaking to people about my religion because I know, inevitably, it will lead to some thing or another regarding the word of wisdom and why we follow it. I'm not the best example in that regard.

I learned God gave us the word of wisdom to benefit and bless us, not to restrict us in any way. Although it isn't something new to me, somehow I was able to view it in a new light today and for once I think I comprehend why he gives us that commandment. I wanted to write about it so 1) it sticks, and 2) when I have trouble abiding by it in the future I can look back and remember how I felt today in RS.

Why do we need the word of wisdom?

1. Our blessings / benefit
If you actually listen to the word of wisdom - abstaining from coffee, tea, alcohol, drugs; getting a moderate but sufficient amount of sleep, nutrients etc. - it is all really basic common sense. It's what all the doctors tell us we should do. Heck, it's what our moms tell us to do.
"Eat your vegetables." 
"No, you can't have ALL that candy honey." 
He wants us to be happy and lead healthy lives.

2. Obedience 
- He wants to see if we will obey His laws even if they may seem miniscule or strange because we are unable to comprehend it at this very moment.
God gives us challenges to stretch us to help us reach our full potential.
- One of my favorite people once told me this when I was going through a trying phase in my life which has really stuck with me:

"Only when we are challenged and stretched in uncomfortable ways are we able to grow and reach bigger better things. View this as an opportunity instead of an obstruction to your learning and growth." 

He isn't a member but boy did he hit the nail on the head.
- In Chinese Sunday school I also learned that Jesus gave his people in the Americas commandments to sacriface burnt offerings but later changed it to test their obedience. He was seeing if they have faith. Although God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow, the ways he uses to teach us are different based on our varying spiritual needs. He wants to see if we will obey him even if the laws he presents do not make sense at that point in time. Tricky, but makes sense.
- A benefit of obedience is to be an example to others - our siblings, children, parents, friends etc. That to me is the biggest testimony to others about our beliefs. Actually following it. Actions speak louder than words.

My girlfriend shared in RS: "God gives us these commandments that even the weakest of the saints may keep them." Take heart friends, we can all do it!  

Another thing I got from church today, specifically at sacrament:
Learn to incorporate a sense of humor and laugh at yourself in difficult times. If you have to go through a trial, you might as well be positive about it. Thanks for sharing, it spoke to me.

We can't change our circumstances, but we can change how we choose to face it.

It's a brand new week. I'm going to try to be better about following the word of wisdom - Temple. Lets go :)

Bring back the '20s - Halloween 2012

Received invite:

Debated on costumes:
See this post. 
For my costume dilemma and past Halloween costumes.

Got a costume + attended party:
The party was a huge success! The Whitesides really know how to throw a party! Great company, food, latin dancing and fun atmosphere. Everyone wore elaborate costumes. Think tin man + lion + girl from wizard of oz, bumble bees, joker, red indian, death + witch + skeleton, vampire, nurse + Mohammad ali + dead boxer etc!
Don't you hate it when you go to a costume party...and are the ONLY one dressed up?! Well, this wasn't one of them. Fantastic party. I even wished I had put more effort into my costume. I won't be posting their pictures to respect their privacy though.

In case you were wondering, I was a flapper from the 1920s :)

What is a 1920s Flapper?
Flappers were a "new breed" of young Western women in the 1920s who wore short skirts, bobbed their hair, listened to jazz, and flaunted their disdain for what was then considered acceptable behavior. Flappers were seen as brash for wearing excessive makeup, drinking, treating sex in a casual manner, smoking, driving automobiles and otherwise flouting social and sexual norms. In addition to their irreverent behavior, flappers were known for their style, which largely emerged as a result of French fashions, especially those pioneered by Coco Chanel.
(Information courtesy of Wikipedia.com)

To me, the 1920s Flapper symbolizes a woman's independence. They broke free from expected societal norms which was later reflected in their appearance. I love their flamboyance (it takes courage and confidence to dare to be different), the cheekiness and courage in their open rebellion, and refusal to conform to societal norms. Although I am not an advocate of casual sex, I love that the 1920s flappers stood for something - freedom and gender equality. They were free spirits who lived in the moment. Something I suspect many of us need to learn to do these days. Watch Midnight in Paris if you can't get enough of this era. Great costumes.

My dance partners for the night :)

My costume made complete with the faux "druggie-nonchalance" facial expression.

Modern day Flapper channeling the 1920s

1920s flapper

Here's a comparison of my outfit vs a real 1920s flappers. I know I'm missing the short do, but I couldn't figure out how to make my hair look like a bob without a wig. How did I do? 

Sent some of my close friends and family photos and some thought I was Pocahontas?!!? (ahem ahem you know who you are) Most did guess correctly though (such true fans...uh I mean...friends!).


What are you going to be dressed as this Halloween?